Anywhere from 40 to 50 percent of (first) marriages end in divorce. The odds are that you or someone close to you has had to endure this painful experience. Still, let’s be clear, in many cases, a divorce is a traumatic event. Your body, mind, and spirit will be severely challenged. That reality deserves care and attention.
Women, in particular, are at higher risk for depression. Why? They tend to handle the lion’s share of domestic duties and often have fewer financial options than men. For almost every person involved, especially if children are involved, divorce is a time of turmoil and drastic change. That’s why it’s so important to safeguard your well-being as this process plays out.
Some Potential Pressures to Consider During a Divorce
Working out financial issues
Protecting the emotional health of any children involved
Becoming a single parent
Relocating quickly
Reimagining your social life
Breaking the news to family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc.
Stay emotionally healthy
It’s not controversial to posit that the last item on that list is the toughest. Often the process and supports for mental health seem less obvious. It’s easy to forgo self-care and emotional check-ups when so much change demands your attention. Let’s discuss some basic strategies that might help you meet your mental and emotional needs during divorce:
6 Strategies for Staying Emotionally Healthy During the Divorce Process
1. Strategize to Stay Financially Afloat
There is something quite unique about money-related pressure. It can color everything you do. A divorce can throw your finances into chaos. Do not leave anything to chance. Get help. If you’re too overwhelmed to learn what needs to be done, hire an expert.
2. Refuse to Isolate Yourself
It may feel natural to withdraw. Solitude can, of course, be helpful in small doses. But you must resist the temptation to embrace isolation. Create a strong support system — particularly family and close friends. You’ll need their company and their compassion. If this is not an option, look into joining a support group, in-person or online.
3. Practice Daily Self-Care
This goes double for women! No matter how hectic and painful your life feels, you cannot abandon your daily regimen of self-care. This means:
Healthy eating habits
Regular sleep patterns
Daily exercise and/or activity
Stress management
Interacting with friends and family
4. Stick To a Schedule
No matter how messy the divorce process gets, you still have to tend to other responsibilities. You’ll need some structure in your life to keeps things moving. Stick to your routines. If you have children, help them stay in a normal rhythm. Life goes on despite the sorrow. You have to step up for your own best interests and stay on track.
5. Resist Being Singleminded
It may be a struggle at first but do not focus solely on the divorce. Cultivate as much balance as possible. This may sound crazy but: have fun. Especially if you have kids, you must latch onto every opportunity to smile, laugh, and feel gratitude.
6. Process Your Anger and Grief
In order to heal, you must deal with difficult emotions. Suppressing these feelings will only hurt you later. They could take the form of physical illness. Just as likely, you may find yourself subject to angry outbursts that do not go over well at home or at work. Of course, this is easier said than done. That’s why so many couples turn to therapy.
Individual or Couples Counseling is a Lifeline
Each divorce is different. If the situation is acrimonious, you might be best served to try therapy on your own. Some couples are able to stay amicable as they separate. For them, couples counseling is an excellent path toward finding closure. Whatever option you choose, it is priceless to seek the support of an experienced, professional guide.
As stated above, divorce is not the time to try going it alone emotionally. If you need help staying mentally healthy during a divorce the first step is yours. Please read more about life counseling and contact me soon. From there, you have a supporter in me. Let’s get through this transition together.
